The Age That I Wish To Go Back To 15.(depression)
I was tagged by rainingheaven.
The age i wish to go back to.. i think it will be around year 13-15 lah..
Aiyo… i still remember when im 15, i struggled with my hormon. haha.. u know la. at that age all boys in malay we called “akil baligh”.haha.. I started experienced a wonderful wetdream (damn! haha) when im 14 i guess. Back then, i was soooooo damn chubby.. and my face full with pimples. I was having a self esteem issues.
“Hoi, budak jerawat!”
“Wey gemuk come here jap”
“Euw why ur face like that one.. merah merah… nanah some more.. gross la”
Those kinda statements killing me.. Just imagine.. ur in a normal medical transaction and ur peers calling you like that. I felt so stupid.. so.. my gosh! undescribeable.. I still remember when i went to a local mall with my best friend Akif. Everybody was staring at me.. Am i look really fugly ? Since then i was so afraid to go outside.. really..
I think my parent noticed my strange behavior.. Ya lah! Honestly i was thinking to gantung myself .. Im not joking.. I already wrote a wasiat for my parent, my peers and my family.. Telling them about my feeling.. i was so depress that why my PMR result sooooo teruk.. yea.. i messed up..
For those who experienced the same situation like i do or have a friend just like me.. please.. Please dont be so mean.. my best friend said to me
“U know wat, kau kene kuat.. aku tao kau sedey.. macam macam diownk caci and mengata pasal diri kau.. kalau kau menitiskan air mata darah sekali pun ia tak akan mengubah apa apa. melainkan ko tabah dan kawal diri kau.. ” (2000)
I wish that i was strong enough and can control the situation.. Just because ur havin an issues u alway have ur family and ur best friend by urself..I was defeated.. But now, im not regreating not even lil bit. It just makes u even stronger…
Please.. dont discriminate others.. ur not perfect also lah..